And an Un-Happy Halloween to You

Remember when I wrote that post about the Garden Gnome vibrator? You don't? Seriously, it's, like 4 posts down people!!! I thought you were fans??? Well, what are you waiting for? Go read it. It's some of our best work. We will all sit here and wait for you while you read, like, the Best. Post. EVER!!!

Have you read it? Good. Now let's continue....

At the time of that post, I had surmised that the Gnome Vibrator was the worst thing that could EVER be brought into a bedroom. I was wrong.....



These are novelty condoms offered by - and I wish I was kidding with this website - http://www.willywardrobe.com. This gem is guaranteed to "give someone a fright today".

Willy Wardrobe - seriously, I shudder everytime I type that - also offers such popular "Willy Attire" as the dinosaur, zebra, and gas mask (?) condoms. That last one is all kinds of freaky. And for you swine flu lovers out there, yes - there is a pig condom.

This is what is wrong with our world....

Each condom will set you back approximately $4.50. Buy one - or several today!!!!

Some Sunday Prettiness

In our constant quest to bring you free stuff, here is some free eye candy to end your weekend.

The video is of Kseniya Simonova, winner of Ukraine's Got Talent. Holla at the Ukrainians, yo!! Kseniya is a Sand Artist - and one hell of a sand artist. I can't even accomplish a sand castle...

A must watch.

A Blog About a Blog

As an aspiring blogess... blogstress... uhhh, blogger, I felt I needed a goal to reach for or some kind of inspiration to get me started. So I searched the internet and browsed other blogs out in the World Wide Web. I found a blog that pretty much sums up what I think we hope to accomplish. They’re doing what we want to do... only they’re doing it successfully. http://canadianfreestuff.com/ is a site (Canadian, no less) that gives away free stuff, runs contests, and offers coupons to its readers. It`s a little more commercial and a little less blog than I would like, but I imagine that`s how they get their sponsors/cash/free stuff. Just putting this out there - I’m not above selling out. This blog has an animated beaver. We have a bat...a smoking bat. We’re clearly superior in that category. But again, the fact that they actually have free stuff to give away, clearly makes them the front-runner. For now. Watch your back Canadian Free Stuff. The Smoking Bat will be huge. Someday.

On that note, since we clearly don’t have free things to give away (yet), please visit http://canadianfreestuff.com/ and enter their contests. Right now they are giving away a flip camcorder if you make a comment on their blog http://canadianfreestuff.com/win-a-flip-camcorder-canadian-blog-contest/. When you win, remember who sent you there. Good Luck!!!

Five Pounds of Yummy Goodness

I'm a tad bit OCD when it comes to food. Like, when I eat a chocolate bar, I will break it into pieces and tell myself that I can have three of the twelve peices. And that is all I eat. I don't care if I want another piece, I can't have one because I already set the three piece rule. If I do eat another piece, the rest of my day feels off.

Having found this, my life just got a little easier...

This is a five pound gummy bear, the equivalent of 1,400 regular sized gummy bears. It comes in three yummy flavours - blue raspbrry, red cherry, andgreen apple and is a mere 12,600 calories.

I mostly want it for the conversation I can have with friends about how all I ate today was one gummy bear and I am now absolutely stuffed. I imagine shortly after this conversation, I fall into a diabetic coma. A diabetic coma of deliciousness.

Buy one today:

http://www.vat19.com/dvds/worlds-largest-gummy-bear.cfm

THIS IS NOT OKAY!!!!

Those who know me know of my huge - and completely rational - fear of statues and lawn ornaments. The souless eyes on those bastards unsettle me for hours. As a child, I would have recurrent dreams of the statues at the Catholic school by my house coming to life and chasing me. For being made of stone, those effers were fast.

The scariest of the statue genre, however, was most definitely the Garden Gnome. Not only do they have the soulless eyes, but they have the evil, freaky-ass grin that just screams, "I will kill you while you sleep".

Having said all of that - This? Is not okay...























It's an effing VIBRATOR. Seriously. That shit is the opposite of erotic. Finding this in my bedroom would destroy me for life. What is wrong in this world??

This Post is Not About A Gnome

It is simply a post because our "manager" (and the quotations are there for a reason) claims that if you want people to follow and read your blog, you must write more than one post a month.

This is post two. It is not as drunk as Post One and not as awesome as Post Gnome will be. Or as disturbing.

However, this post can tell you what future posts will consist of. And that is our awesome taste. Our plan? To tell you what is awesome. To recommend this awesomeness to you. To tell you why it is awesome. And if we play our cards right, to obtain some awesome things to give away to you.

Awesome, right?

We Have a Blog Y'all????

You know how sometimes you ask for stuff, but you don't really want it? But, then someone says no, so you pretend you REALLY want said stuff and make a big deal about it? And hound the person incessantly? Then one day you get what you asked for? But you never actually wanted it to begin with? And now you have what you didn't want and you have to do something with it?

Well, that is this blog.... Welcome....

What is our plan?

Ummmm... We'll get back to you.